For awhile, I have wanted to write a post about how to expect our parenting style to differ with our second child as compared to our first. I want people to be prepared for what may seem odd or out of character for me, my husband, and my family. Those of you who know us, know that Rosebud is a spirited little creature, and has created parenting challenges that I have been surprised to face. As a therapist to children, and in many ways, to parents, it has been a blessing to my practice that I have been able to learn many things with my ornery, intelligent, challenging, and magnificent Rosebud. BUT, my second child will likely have a completely different set of needs.
I can account for Rosebud's attachment to my husband, me, her grandparents, etc. I know that we have modeled appropriate bonding and helped her create safe boundaries with the world around her. I cannot say the same for my second child. I pray everyday for my son and his mommy. I pray that he learns how to bond and that their time together, however short, is beautiful and precious. But my son will be an orphan. And because of this early trauma, he will need me to be a different kind of parent than I am for my Rosebud.
I need my people, my support, those I count on, to be ready for this too. My lovely Aunt Nanette shared this blog with my mother, who shared it with me. I am attaching this post, and I would like 'my peoples' (as Rosebud would say) to read it. To know what we are in for. To pray in advance for what is to come, and to know what to expect of us.
The Truth About Adoption-Jen Hatmaker
Thank you for reading and your support!
T
Continued prayer requests include:
- For my son, his physical, spiritual and emotional needs to be met in his journey from his family of origin to his family here. That the Lord prepare his heart to be grafted into our family. For his mother, for the loss/pain/trials that she is facing or will be facing. That she knows Christ's love and peace.
- For my Rosebud. To prepare her to be the sister that our son will need her to be.
- For orphans in Lesotho and across the globe, including our country. That the Lord continue to provide for them and love them through his people.
- For me and my husband. That by his Grace, we grow into the parents that our children need us to be.
- For the more practical stuff. The money for the adoption. The logistics that will need worked out. All the stuff we cannot yet account for.
