The Long Journey Ahead of Us All

We recieved blessed news on Wednesday.  We were matched with a son.  After what can only be described as intense emotional release from all of the build up of stress, excitment, grief, and hope of this adoption, I was left literally exhausted by late afternoon.  And so joyful.

I follow many families' blogs who are also on this journey to adopt from Lesotho.  So, at the end of the day, when I checked their blogs in hopes of finding more joyful news, and did not, I was not sure what to say.  I have wanted to be so careful about how I share my news. 

So, I will write a blog in the future about my joys.  I don't really have much news to share now anyway.  Not an age or a name (even if it would end up coded on my blog).  Here is what I have to say as I think about our other friends in this waiting....

This is not fair.  That is all I could think as I thought of the families and parents who wait to be matched.  I do not believe that your families need my support or my sorrow, but you have it anyway.  I hurt for you, but believe, truly, that there is a plan for your families and for the children of Lesotho.  Know that I continue to pray for your families and for your children.  Even when things aren't fair, there is often purpose we do not percieve.

So if for no other reason than this, I write this blog to acknowledge all the crummy feelings you should be allowed to feel.  Dissapointment, jealousy, exhaustion.

I will continue to lift up all of our families in prayer.  No matter where we are in the process, we will all certainaly need endurance.  There is still a long journey ahead of us.


Your friend,

Tara G

February 17th-How will we wait?

Good Morning All,

After today, there will be only three days left of this stretch of our wait.  On the 20th, we will learn how we will begin waiting again. Will we be waiting to meet our son? Will we be waiting to get our paperwork completed to change country programs?  We won't know until Wednesday!

I wrote a prayer request days ago for today's date, thinking that I would be a crazy mess.  But, I have gotten off the hope/distress roller coaster.  It feels nice to feel settled.  I praise the Lord for this and thank my friends for their prayers, because calm is not a natural state for me in these types of situations, so I know the Lord has granted me peace. And actually, I feel pretty excited.  I dare to give way to the Lord's promise that He has a son for me.  If the 20th comes and goes without us finding our son, I am sure I will be disappointed, but the Lord has grown my faith in the last week, so that I can say... the search will just continue.  Whatever the path that leads to our son, I believe in His purpose. 

So the answer to how will I wait is this: expectantly. hopefully.  faithfully. leaning on my friends and family who I cherish and rely on, people I have been gifted with.  and with excitement.

I read a quote that feels relevant to the situation my family and many others are currently going through.  And really, pretty applicable to life in general: "I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what  will only makes sense in reverse" -Phillip Yancy.   

So today I stand on faith and hope, the little that I have and the rest that the Lord has supplemented.

Because of this, I would like to change my Prayer Extravaganza prayer request for today.  I would love for you to continue to pray for Hope, Faith and Assurance for me and  the other families.  But I think instead of that being the focus, I would like to pray for this....

 (Random pretty clock picture).

February 17
His Timing

Dear Heavenly Father, today I pray for your timing.  As I turn this adoption over to you again, I praise your name and know that you have a plan and purpose. I pray for your perfect timing for possible life changes, for travel, for Rosebud, for all of it! As you orchestrate your plan for your children, I pray that all things be done according to your will.  That our family comes together in the way that only you can now know, and that we have thankful and expectant hearts as we know you work all things together for good. Let our hearts rejoice!

Thanks all!  And for those who I am waiting with... I am praying for your families too!

Tara G

Prayer Extravaganza Revised!

Thank you to all who have partnered with me in prayer!  I feel so blessed.  Here are the revised days, to include the 5 extra days we have. 

February 11
Families in Canada, the US, the Netherlands, and Sweden

I want to pray for these families.  I feel connected with them as people also called to this country, also called to find their children.  Lord, I pray that this meeting be fruitful for all of these families.  It has been a long wait for most of us.  We have come a long way.  We are excited to see your work in this.

February 12

For Lesotho

Lord,  today I lift up the Kingdom of Lesotho.  I lift up their government, health care system, child welfare system, for their homeless and hungry.  Lord I pray for miracles in the small kingdom.  That your good news be spread, that hope and mercy are known, and that Lesotho becomes a place of healing.  I pray that a day comes that Basotho children do not need to be sent to homes out of their country, but that they can stay with their families and communities.  Until that day, I pray that you continue to send people to Lesotho, to serve them and share your love.

February 13

For Sammy and Eric (I have their permission)
Sammy and Eric are a family that are also adopting from Lesotho.  They live in Michicgan.  Today, I pray for hope, peace, endurance, and most of all that they feel the Lord's love wrapped around them.  I pray that they find certainty in their understanding of your will for their family.  I also pray that you gift them with all of the financial blessings they will need to be connected with their children.  I pray for the two children that they are waiting for.  I pray that you are with them in this wait, and that they are loved and cared for. Thank you for calling people like Sammy and Eric to parent your children.  (For more info on this fam, go to: http://sammyneric.blogspot.com/)

February 14

For the families of the children
Lord, today, I lift up the biological family of my son, and the many families like his. An orphan's story is often very complex.  Just because a child does not have a home, it does not mean that there is no one who has loved them or hurts for them.  Sometimes, there are parents who are so hurt themselves, that they cannot know how to love their children.  For these parents and families, the hurting and the hurt, I lift them up to you God.  I pray that even through their scars, that someone finds them today.  I pray that today, their hear about your love, and feel what it is to be cared about.  And if this is something they already know, Lord, I pray that you continue to heal their heart in their loss and hurt.

February 15
Super Secret Prayer day ;)
There are some things in my life that are best left off of blog sites for now.  Nothing all that interesting, just exercising some privacy.  (A strange notion for me) For those of you receiving  reminders, I will give you specifics on the date.

February 16
 For My Son
I know we have already prayed for my son.  But, I don't know where he is, if he is sick, if he feels loved.  Today Lord, I pray that you protect my son.  That you heal him if he is ill.  That you comfort him if he is scared.  I pray that you continue to send people to him.  That he is told about your love. I pray that I get to hug him and love on him.  I pray that we are prepared for the challenges. I know that the Lord of creation loves my baby.  I know that you want all these things and more for him.  I praise you, the God who is love. I pray that we meet him soon. 

February 17
 Hope, Faith and Assurance

I am planning this prayer calendar 15  20 days in advance, but to know myself is to know that by today, I will be an antsy, stressball mess.  This is my very nature.  I believe in the Lord's power to take away my worry and anxiety and replace it with great assurance, hope, and faith. I pray that I will seek him in my uncertainty. If this adoption process has taught me anything, it is that he LOVES me and will answer this prayer.

February 18
Whatever you feel led to pray day
I would like to leave a day to feel the Holy Spirit's prompting.  Leaving space to pray for those things on our hearts about this adoption.  Please pray for whatever you felt led to today.


February 19

Tomorrow's Meeting

Lesotho's clock is ahead of us, so I want to pray  today for tomorrow's meeting.  I pray for clarity of mind for the government officials, orphanage staff, social workers, and all other attendees.  I pray that the meeting be a productive one.  That all things are in order and that children and families can be blessed in this process.  I pray for the Lord's glory and that His will be done.  I pray that we are matched with our son.

February 20

For the Wait

Today, I pray for all of our families as we wait.  My family will be waiting to find out if our son is in Lesotho or if we need to keep searching somewhere else.  You told me you have a son for me.  I believe you.  Be with us as we wait.  Help us to praise your name, knowing that you have held this even before it was a curiosity in our minds.  You have this. And today, I pray that if I have a hard time giving all of it to you, that you gently remind me who you are.

With my sincerest gratitude and love,

Tara G

Looking To Lesotho

Looking to Lesotho is the name of this photograph by J. Adamson.The photo was taken, standing in South Africa, and looking to Lesotho.

I can visualize myself standing by that ragged tree looking to the mountain kingdom.  Does my son live there?

I could not be more blessed.  SO many people have reached out to me and are getting daily reminders to join me and my family in prayer for our son and for the process. I am so grateful and speechless.

I have so much to say about the roller coaster of feelings I have gone through in the last two days. But this picture captures so much of it.  The feeling of being alone, while the reality is that a much larger tree is surrounding me.  The beauty of looking toward something that could be so amazing. The hope of seeing the mountains in the distance, and the realization that the mountain top is still a long way away.

  I told some friends at work that I am beginning to believe I am Spiritually Bipolar.  Moment to moment, I move from utter confidence and faithfulness that the Lord has already claimed victory of this adoption, to low lows of forgetting The Lord's promises and maybe even his love and Grace. I can tear up at the drop of a hat.  I cry when I am spiritually 'up', praying and praising.  And I tear up when I am spiritually down, feeling hopeless and defeated. 

I have been gifted with many who will not let me dwell on the negative.  They find ways to find flaws in my best arguments against hope.  And for that I am thankful.  But to all you other families who are adopting, we know that five days feels a lot heavier than it would seem using logic. We know that it is five more days of hope that will be needed, and when you are running on fumes, we are left to wonder how to make it those five days.

 Last week (and many previous weeks), my pastor's sermon was on hope. (how timely).  He spoke of many hopeless moments found in the Bible that The Lord used for his purpose. The pastor's summation was this:

It is always too early to give up hope. (-Pastor Phil Taylor, Carbondale Assembly of God, on the West Side ;) )

I am leaning on that.  

And so that is where I am.  Tired. Happy.  Excited. Worried. Fearful.  But most of all, Loved.

I plan to update my prayer list soon to include the extra days.  So look forward to that.

Thank you all.  

T

A Five Day Bonus

We found out tonight that the matching meeting has been moved from the fifteenth to the twentieth of February. So, I have  five bonus prayers to create ;) Those will be coming soon!  Thanks to you all for continuing to lift this process up in prayer. I believe in the Lord's timing and hope to write more words soon.

Good night friends!

T