Log Jams

This whole adoption process has been full of log jams.

I have been a little ridiculous about how I manage these stalls in the process. I have been observing my peers who are also adopting, paying closer attention to the women than to men. And I am just amazed at how much women can endure. These women manage with grace and faith. 

Not me. I throw fits like a child. I insist that my husband provide me with extra affection and care. I complain to my mother and sister regularly, and when people ask me how things are going, I tell the truth. My kid lives in Africa and has been waiting for five months. And for five months we have been told to make ourselves ready to meet him the next month. It's crummy.

And I guess the only reason I am writing this post is to say, if you feel like throwing fits, and crying and complaining, just know that there is a woman out there actually doing it. I can tell you it probably won't make you feel better, but it can be exhausting keeping it all together. I've had to ask The Lord repeatedly to take my (slightly melodramatic) despair, and keep me from indulging in self-pity. After all, there are way worse things than waiting.

In talking (with bouts of whining) to God about my thoughts on log jams, he gave me the sense that I will never know the reason for our wait, but that if he can let His son die for me, I can let mine wait an extra month or two for His purpose/workings. That he has always and continues to have control of my life and that of my son. That he loves my son even more than me, and he loves me even more than I can understand.

As is true in many life experiences, just when you are ready to fully give way to being utterly bummed,  a sunbeam breaks through. This week, our log jam has let a small stream through. Our paperwork has made it to our attorney in Lesotho, and we hope soon the the small stream will give way to a swifter faster current. Praying that we travel in a miraculously short amount of time.

So here is my admiration to those of you who have endured longer, endured more, or endured more gracefully! I am in awe! And my praise to my King, for sending sweet messages of encouragement from family and friends, and for loving my family in ways I can't fathom.

As always, thanks for checking in :)

Tara G

PS-thanks for reading this babel.  This felt more like a therapeutic outlet for me than a blog post.  I appreciate you indulging me in this :)