February 2013 Matching Meeting.

The Update:

Our agency director emailed us this week to share some good news. You may remember, a few months ago, The Kingdom of Lesotho decided to become part of the Hague Convention regarding international adoptions.  We weren't sure what that would mean for our adoptions. If you are not from the US, or are not familiar with international adoptions, let me shed some light on why that makes things difficult, in a very abbreviated sense.  Our governments interpretation on how to be compliant with the Hague Convention can make things much more complicated for us adopting families, and switching from non-Hague to Hague can create many expensive and time consuming obstacles. BAM!

There is the history. Here is the news.... Lesotho has extended an opportunity for those of us American families who were already approved and in the adoption process to be eligible for the matching meeting scheduled in early February 2013.  I believe this is a generous consideration on their part as many countries have changed adoption programs without making such accommodations. This is great news, especially for those families who end up being matched at that meeting. However, it is a possibility that we will not all be matched.

What if we don't get matched?  Good Question!
If we aren't matched, we will have to make some decisions.  I have to say, I am really liking this go with the flow wait for February thing.  I will be pretty bummed if it comes down to us making another decision about this journey.  Here are the options as I see and understand them AS OF NOW (these things change as we have all become well aware).

 1. We can stay with the adoption program in Lesotho.  We would have to update our information to become Hague compliant and completely re-apply a DIFFERENT application with the US government.  This option feels a lot like starting over to me, and is not so appealing.  However, I have grown quite fond of the Kingdom of Lesotho, and will feel sad to lose my perceived connection to this country.

2. We can stay working within our agency and move to the Uganda program.  It is a more expensive option and I am less familiar with the time frame and legal arrangements.  This, of course ;) , makes me uneasy.  But there is still a need for babies to find their families. We considered this option briefly this summer, and felt the Lord told us to stay where we were (with the Lesotho program).  But that was July, and the Lord's path does not always appear to be direct until you have lived all the way through it. .

I've included a map in this post so we all know where I am referring to :)

So, here are our prayer requests.

• That our choices be made for us. :)  and if they can't or shouldn't be, that we hear the Lord's voice and are obedient to follow Him.
• For the other families in the four countries represented at the February matching meeting.  That their hearts be ready for whatever news comes their way.
• For the babies, that they feel the comfort and love of their Father as they wait for their forever homes.
• For blessings to the people who have dedicated their lives to serving these children and their families.
• That the Lord continue to provide for us along this journey. That when the time comes to meet our son, there will be no financial barrier.

Thank you for your continued love and support!

Candle of Preparation

I would like to start this post by making two notes: First, I have an update about where we are in our process, and I will share that in a second post. Second, I do not spend my days being a raw nerve about my adoption journey.  I am normally a very happy well-balanced individual.  So as you read this post, try to keep that in mind.

Last Sunday, I headed to church in the best of spirits.  It had been awhile since we had attended due to injury and illness.  Worship started.  Things were going well.  Then it happened. Buh buh bummmmmm. It was time to light the Advent Wreath.  Typically this would be a pretty benign and lovely event.  A tradition I love from my church of origin.  Our pastor began to talk about the Candle of Preparation (as that was the week we were on) and what it meant to be waiting for something.  In this case, waiting for the Messiah.  Then the pastor invited a family whose 3.5 year adoption journey only ended a few months ago. My husband grabbed my hand, knowing this could be a rough moment for me.   As they spoke of waiting and how the hurt melts away at the end of this long journey, my eyes betrayed me again, exposing my inner fears.  I am a trauma therapist. My job on a daily basis is to not cry at things that would make others weep, but there I was in the pew again, a puddle of tears.

Sitting in the uncertainty of what was to come had become overwhelming.  It was the nine days after a month of waiting to find out if we would be switching programs, starting from scratch, etc. There was still no word.  The not knowing kills me.  And so, I was prayer bombed again.  This time by a different friend.  (At this point I am imagining it is pretty obvious that I need some prayer).  I feel so blessed to be a part of church family that responds to God's prompting.  I needed to hear from Him again.

Her prayer spoke to my heart in so many ways.  But the moment that I remember the most a week later was this.  "The Lord wants you to know He loves you".  A phrase she repeated to my heart over and over again.  I know this to be true in my mind, but I had lost the fullness of it somehow.  It is easier for me to remember that the Lord loves my Rosebud, the families I work with, my friends, my husband.  It felt so incredible to be pursued by His love and reminded of who it is I am in relationship with.  A God who can love me even when my faith in His promise for my life is faltering.  Her prayer of comfort soothed me, and helped me see that this plowing will bring a harvest.

But WHEN will the harvest come?  That has been my struggle.  I have a plan.  I want more than two children. I'll have to go through fertility treatments or another adoption if we are to have a larger family.  And that is where I am, with these types of things running through my head. The waiting was not causing as much struggle as the complications from waiting.  It was MESSING with MY plan!  I have realized that I have trusted the Lord with many things in this journey, but I had not surrendered my family to him. My plans for the number of children I will have or the age Rosebud or I or my husband will be when I have more children has always been outside of my control, but that never stopped me from trying to control it. 

So, at the end of Sunday, I sat with these truths.... The Lord LOVES me, and even thought I don't deserve it, He tries to prove it to me over and over again.  And, He can design and create; graft and grow my family better than I can.  So, my children may not be the optimal years apart, and maybe I will have more or fewer children than I imagined, but God's got this.  I just have to let go. He was holding my family this whole time, and my pulling for my way only made me exhausted.  I guess I'm still learning to rest in Him.

My Turn

An introduction of me.  Hmmm where to start.  (Having started writing this, I wanted to come back to the top and state the obvious in that this introduction has been harder to write than the other two.) You've already been introduced to my two most important people. My occupation is therapist, and I work specifically with kids and their families who have had particularly difficult experiences. I find myself to be quite funny, and so I tend to handle uncomfortable situations with attempted humor.  I interrupt people.  I am quite a mess and my organizational skills are unnaturally bad and something I have to work on over my entire lifetime.  I love people. I love trying to figure out their motivations, their internal experiences, their stories, etc. I love animals. I thought I would grow up to be a vet when I was little, and then I worked at the zoo for a summer and changed my mind. I get energy from being with my friends and I HATE to stay at home on the weekend.  I like to be an open book and share my thoughts and experiences in hopes that others can find what I say at least relatable if not encouraging. I have some very close friends, whom I have known almost my entire childhood.  I hang out with my parents and siblings ALOT.  I want to be a parent that enriches every moment of my child's existence, but sometimes I'm the tired mom at the end of the day that allows Rosebud to watch Bubble Guppies (a cartoon show) on our DVR for the 43rd time.  I love Jesus, but to know me is to know that I am a sinner. I love to sing and dance with my family.  We sing to musicals in the car, and Rosebud announces to us when it is our turn. There are many things that I want to be that I am not: graceful, calm, elegant.  But because those goals were unattainable I tried to just be comfortable and genuine, even if that means I am sometimes awkward and loud.

I think that about sums it up. Here is pic of me and the fam on a hayride earlier this fall.

Rosebud's Daddy-More introductions

I'm not one of those people who is particularly mushy.  I don't sent romantic notes to my husband via facebook or talk about how great he is too all my friends.  In fact, on our anniversary, we each posted funny/sarcastic posts about our six years as husband and wife.  But, there is so much to Rosebud's daddy, Michael, that any attempt to briefly describe him would surely leave out something important. Be warned, this post is a little lovey dovey.

There are the things Michael's acquaintances know about him, that he loves basketball, baseball, and football.  That his occupation is electrical engineering.  That he is slow to warm up in a crowd but is quite funny under his breath.  There are the things that his friends know.  That he is caring and loyal.  He enjoys making people laugh and he likes to grill and cook for people. That his work is important for him, but that he does it for his family.   Then there are the things that his inner circle know.  Michael can appear on the outside to be so relaxed that he somehow isn't observing all of life.  Michael often shocks me with his insight of the people and relationships around us.  Michael is easy going but he is also particular.  He serves his family even if it means breaking traditional gender-roles.  He cooks our dinner, does our laundry, etc. Mike is even-tempered.  He likes to stay at home. He is a bit of a video game lover.  Oh, and he loves to golf.  Can't believe I almost forgot that hobby.

I always tease Mike, and tell him I am a kite and he is my string, but I would be lost without my string. I have the tendency to FREAK OUT, and there he is, calm and faithful, lovingly settling me back down.  He reminds me our Father has got things under control Michael is my blessing.  He is consistent, but surprising.  When I've had a particularly rough work day, I can come home to find that he has cleaned the whole house (with a large breed dog, two cats, and a toddler, it can get out of control VERY quickly)or cooked dinner.  We spend endless amounts of time with my family, and he loves them as his own.  His own family has also been my blessing, and I could not have asked for nor would I have expected such lovely family to enter my life.  I cherish Rosebud's daddy.  A wonderful father.  A fantastic husband. I am very proud to be his wife.

(This is from when Rosebud was younger, but it is one of my favorites.) 

Who is Rosebud?

So many of my posts are spiritual, and while that is a part of who I am, those who don't know me might think of me differently than I really am, based on this blog.  Our family is silly.  My conversations with my friends and co-workers do not usually sound philosophical and they are often about the silly things we've seen on television or funny stories about our families.  I dislike the idea that I may be unintentionally portraying myself and my family to be something we aren't.  This adoption journey has definitely  been spiritual, but I want my posts to reflect the silliness of who we are. I would like my adopting friends in Canada and the Netherlands to also know a more full and genuine idea of who we are.  I've decided to highlight each of us :)

So, I've decide to introduce you all to my family.  I am going to start with Rosebud.  She turned three this month, and she keeps us all on our toes.

Rosebud is feisty.  She loves to joke and tease. When she first meets people, she is really shy.  She buries her head in my chest and peeks out from under her curly hair.  Once she warms up,  she quickly finds a stage and shows off her dancing and singing skills.  She loves bossing people around and she has a growing sense of humor.  She is stubborn, sensitive, ornery, and sweet.  She has a preference about EVERYTHING and she is the girliest girl i would have ever imagined having.  She loves to help her dad cook and watches football with him.  She loves to snuggle with me and delay bedtime in anyway she can think of :)

We still have some time to wait until we find out in what ways our adoption story may unfold.  I thought this might be a fun way to spend that time :)

The Crying Girl in the Second Row

Approaching our church building this morning, it hit me how sad I have been about the latest road bump in the adoption journey.  Repeating to myself "God has a plan; there is a plan, remember the plan" had not allowed me time to feel.  I had previously gotten wrapped up with the cerebral, and as often happens in moments  I am encountering the Lord, I began to connect with my heart. 

In writing this post, I guess I am hoping to normalize the less obvious losses that those of us waiting parents are likely to encounter.  I also want to share my experience of comfort and caring. 

This weekend has been wonderful. I spent time with my beautiful family and cherished friends. I ran with my two healthy legs and slept in a large cushy bed. Know that I am thankful and aware of my good fortune.  I  met up with friends this weekend who are pregnant with their second child and spoke with a another dear friend about when she will start planning for her second pregnancy.  And on the way to church, it hit me.  Even though I started 1.5 years ago on this journey, they will know their children before I know my son. 

It is difficult to explain this loss.  There is no death, no separation to speak of, no referral of a child that went on to fall through, just an expectation.  A hope.  And while I still feel hope, I have lost.  Lost what? I'm not sure.  I still believe God has a son for our family, and I still believe that God's timing will prove better than mine. So what have I lost? Time with my son? The feeling of progress? I don't know.  All I know is that I feel it, and it is real to me. 

So during worship this morning, I simply said to the Lord "I'm hurting", and with this admission, my tear ducts became overly active as I let the pain of our latest adoption set back settle and be experienced.  And as I often do when I am hurting, I got a little obstinate with Him. I began to say (in not quite so insistent wording) that I needed Him to comfort me, why hadn't He sent someone? I surprised myself in this conversation with the Lord. I was also surprised at the tears. What happened next was unexpected.  Just moments after , I  was prayer-bombed.  This is what I have decided to lovingly call what happened.  A lovely  mother and daughter from our church approached me where I sat and the daughter said "I don't know why I'm supposed to pray for you, but the Lord sent me over to you." And they proceeded to pray words of comfort over me, hug on me, and love me.  (I cried more of course :) ).  And I cry now as I think of what a defiant immature child of God I am, and even in my pouting and irritability, he sent me what I had asked for. 


I did some more chatting with God this afternoon, and wondered aloud in my time with Him about what I knew and understood about His nature.  My brain first went to the New Testament.  The NT describes a God I feel more familiar and/or comfortable with. Then, I thought about the Old Testament.  I thought about a sermon I heard when I was visiting First Pres., here in Tulsa.  Dr. Miller spoke of Heman in 1Chronicles 6 and described how his story unfolded.  And what I captured from that sermon was that the scope of God's plan is so much greater than what we can experience in this one piece of the puzzle that we live in.  That His nature is so complex as to provide for the girl crying in the pew and to pull back and also orchestrate on a plane that I can't even imagine. One which moves through generations and provides for His people. 

God is bigger than this moment.  He can heal my pain and he can help me wait on His timing.  For those of you waiting for your little ones, I'm so sorry that it can be painful.  I just keep thinking that there is a little boy and his mommy out there that need me to tough this out.  And for those of you that have friends that are adopting, just know that the journey is riddled with surprise hurts.  Thank you for hearing God's leading, and for comforting the crying girl in the second row.

Movement and change

Dear friends and family,

I am needing some prayers. First, please continue to pray for the children and families that are impacted by poverty, illness, and hunger that contribute to the abandonment of children. What a scary situation to be in and what deep sadness it must be to realize one of these factors may lead to you having to leave your children. I want to note these very real very serious things because the rest of my post today is very self-absorbed, and I wanted to give it some perspective.  My life is pretty fantastic, and even though I have some prayer requests, I want to hold onto the families that are experiencing so much more need than I.

  I read today on the PEAR blog (http://pear-now.blogspot.com/) that Lesotho is becoming a Hague Convention nation, which is a set of policies intended to safeguard orphans around the world. I am hopeful that this means good things for the children of Lesotho.  What this means for our adoption journey is still to be discovered.   Best case scenario, we will have to regroup and regather information to make appropriate adjustments to become compliant with Hague, which means more waiting and more work. Worst case kind of spirals from there.  I have hope for us, but know that international adoption is a fickle thing.  With all the changes being made within the social welfare department in Lesotho, it appears that the next matching meeting will occur sometime in early 2013.  I am still hoping our family will be considered at that time. I think I will keep hoping that until our time comes :)

Here is why I am asking for prayer: there are a few uncertainties with this change. I don't deal we'll with uncertainties; they freak me out.  I'm going to need the Lord to provide me with supernatural peace. In the last couple of hours after finding out this information, I have already plotted out at least three separate possible options, accounting for the different outcomes I can imagine. I could drive myself mad doing this.  (My husband on the other hand, cool as a cucumber.  Totally able to wait until we hear word about decisions before beginning to stress/plan.)

So that is one prayer: peace. The other is strength and endurance.  My last post was so hopeful, and I still feel some excitement that there is movement.  However, finding out that movement might mean I am moving further away from meeting my son has been a bit deflating. Waiting can be really exhausting, and I am starting to feel tired.  Adding to that the amount of paperwork that is inevitably in my future, I am definitely feeling that I'm going to need a power boost.

Adoption may be a fickle thing, but my Lord is not.  I believe that we are following Him through this journey. November can be a restful month.  There are no actions I can take to change things or anything I can do to speed the process.  I would like to use the month to find reassurance and calm and not let it become a month where I spend time stricken with anxiety.

I thank you all for following our story and for keeping us in your prayers.

Yours truly,

TG

I never posted this....

I never remembered to post this :(  This was our amazing fundraiser that we completed back in April.  It was so wonderful!  I think the video explains the project, but if you want more info, or would like to do it for your adoption, hit me up at taramglenn@yahoo.com and I will happily explain how it went.

I want to give a public BLOG shout out to our team.  They were amazing.  In fact, some of them decided to even further invest in Ms. Betty's life, and remain in contact with her, continuing to help her out when needed!

I love my friends and family!

Spring is here!

It has been a long wait for our son. We are blessed that we started early, anticipating that adoptions can be uncertain. We wanted to keep as much chronological space between our son and Rosebud as possible. Well, not too much. Just the right amount :)

All that to say, it is not a complaint that adoption takes a long time, but rather an expectation. As we wait for our son, it is strange how life continues on and even stranger how easy it is to let thoughts of our son slip from our forethought. For one, it is painful, and and I tear up now as I think about my many feelings for my son and for the children waiting. For another, it isn't yet tangible. Our relationship has not yet been decided by a government and so it is slippery to hold onto it. Our son is an unidentified child, still mostly just a belief that our family shares that there is a child that belongs with our family. I have posted a picture that my husband has placed in his office. He used a google search to find a picture of Lesotho. Not sure how accurate :) the pic serves to make our son real, to keep our son in his prayers, almost like the bonding that begins when as a pregnant belly grows, making our son present. I found it to be such a sweet gesture.

The news on the adoption front is that the wheels have begun to slowly
turn again. A new Principal Secretary has been appointed, and by report, we hear she has a heart for her nation's children and is supportive of adoptions. It feels good to have positive reports. From what I understand she would like to have a matching meeting as soon as she can, but it is likely she will have a lot of work to do. Her department is changing and there be work on the infrastructure that will need tended.

When I read this news on another mom's blog, it was 11 o'clock at night and my brain flooded with what-if's? The logical side of my brain cautioned against optimism. But I indulged in the happy what if's and found it hard to sleep. It felt nice to allow hope in. Admittedly, my hope was laced with OMG there are so many logistics to work out! I am hoping that I will have these crazy anxiety thoughts enough before i need them to inoculate myself by the time our BIG news comes. In summation, nothing has changed for our family structurally, but I feel like my hope has been invited to come out of hibernation. It has always been there and was resting, but it will grow as a new season for our adoption brings about exciting changes! Spring is here! I am praying that hope, love, joy and patience will find nourishment :)

Our prayer requests stay the same!

Our son, his family, our family, orphans everywhere, and that God takes care of the logistics :)

I want to mention that we have been truly blessed, and The Lord has loved on us through our friends and family. My next post will be about these blessings!!!!

Dear Supportive friends and family members,

For awhile, I have wanted to write a post about how to expect our parenting style to differ with our second child as compared to our first.  I want people to be prepared for what may seem odd or out of character for me, my husband, and my family.  Those of you who know us, know that Rosebud is a spirited little creature, and has created parenting challenges that I have been surprised to face.  As a therapist to children, and in many ways, to parents, it has been a blessing to my practice that I have been able to learn many things with my ornery, intelligent, challenging, and magnificent Rosebud.  BUT, my second child will likely have a completely different set of needs.

I can account for Rosebud's attachment to my husband, me, her grandparents, etc.  I know that we have modeled appropriate bonding and helped her create safe boundaries with the world around her.  I cannot say the same for my second child.  I pray everyday for my son and his mommy.  I pray that he learns how to bond and that their time together, however short, is beautiful and precious.  But my son will be an orphan.  And because of this early trauma, he will need me to be a different kind of parent than I am for my Rosebud.

I need my people, my support, those I count on, to be ready for this too. My lovely Aunt Nanette shared this blog with my mother, who shared it with me.  I am attaching this  post, and  I would like 'my peoples' (as Rosebud would say) to read it.  To know what we are in for.  To pray in advance for what is to come, and to know what to expect of us.

 The Truth About Adoption-Jen Hatmaker

Thank you for reading and your support!

T

Continued prayer requests include:

• For my son, his physical, spiritual and emotional needs to be met in his journey from his family of origin to his family here.  That the Lord prepare his heart to be grafted into our family.  For his mother, for the loss/pain/trials that she is facing or will be facing.  That she knows Christ's love and peace.
• For my Rosebud. To prepare her to be the sister that our son will need her to be.
• For orphans in Lesotho and across the globe, including our country.  That the Lord continue to provide for them and love them through his people.
• For me and my husband.  That by his Grace, we grow into the parents that our children need us to be. 
• For the more practical stuff.  The money for the adoption. The logistics that will need worked out. All the stuff we cannot yet account for.

Surrender

It has been A LONG time since I have posted.  It is safe to assume that if I'm not posting, there is not much to say.  Elections have been completed in Lesotho and when I last spoke with our agency's director, the country was in the middle of appointing new Principal Secretaries.  We are praying that the social welfare dept. is appointed with a P.S. with a heart for orphans.  So, here we sit and wait.

This journey has been both easier than I expected and more difficult. Someday maybe I'll write about how it has been easier, but today, let me describe what has been tough.   I am not patient. Its not that I can't handle the waiting, its really the uncertainty that is taxing. When will things begin moving? Will we ever even BE matched with a son? What is the plan, exactly?

 When we spoke with our director earlier this year, she indicated that there were other options to explore outside of the Kingdom of Lesotho.  You can imagine our conversations as we rapidly swung from one side to the other in pondering the wisdom in changing programs.  And then, I heard God's voice. (It should be noted that I have never claimed to nor never expected for the Lord to speak to me directly, and so it came as quit a shock.)

The morning after our email conversation with the director, and following our conversations flooded with different types of emotions, I lay in bed.  I began praying for clarity.  I had also asked our family to pray for clarity.  I needed an ANSWER.  And, spoiler alert, I received one.  It is important for you to note that there was a specific child we were considering considering (if you can understand that). So, as I lay there, my inner thoughts abruptly concluded that 'this is not our son'.  I said to myself, but is that just my thought?  Where did it originate from?, how can I tell if this is God?, and so on.... and then interrupting this pattern of questioning.... "I have a son for you". Clear and bold. These words were different from my own. I began to tear up (as I often do when I pray).  I was stunned and quiet.  My confusion was immediately gone and certainty took its place.  It was difficult to accept.  Throughout the day, I challenged this idea that we had to wait longer, and tried to get myself excited again about the possibility of making a switch, of setting out a plan.  But I couldn't get pumped up.  We had an answer.

And that is where we are. The Lord did not guarantee us where our son would come from, or when we would meet him.  One thing I noticed about myself throughout my fertility treatments and even during my pregnancy, is I find comfort in information.  I was practically a fertility nurse by the end of my 3 month journey through fertility treatments.  I knew medication names, time lines, anatomy functions, etc.  By the end of my pregnancy, I knew when C-sections are indicated, what placenta previa was (even though I never had it), how to restrict my diet in case I should get gestational diabetes.  ALL of it.  Adoption is not like that.  I have read parenting books and studied how to increase attachment and bonding and how to handle the challenges of a conspicuous adoption.  BUT, nothing can tell me when/if an African government will continue an adoption program; if orphanages will have everything in order to help children get matched (you can imagine how limited on resources they are); if we will get matched, when they do eventually have a meeting; how old our son will be;  what barriers there are, and how I can prepare for them.  I know none of it. 

I started running in the morning.  That is another post for a different kind of blog :) But on these runs, I find time to talk to Jesus.  I love talking to Jesus.  And as I was chatting, I felt urged to surrender.  To surrender to the not knowing.  The day before my walk/jog,  I had emailed our director for the second time this month to press for any scrap of knowledge she could share, and so I knew what I was meant to do.  I am supposed to stop Google'ing any combinations of the words "Lesotho, adoption, principle secretaries, blogs, orphanages, etc."  I am supposed to leave our sweet and dedicated director alone.  {Please note this is not my advise to other families waiting to adopt. This is personal, and about my faith}.  For me, clinging to knowledge helps me feel less vulnerable.  And so, to allow my relationship with the Lord to grow, I have to let go of the side of the pool and trust that my life vest is going to keep my head above water. No amount of knowing keeps me safe and no amount of knowing gets my son closer to us.  And so I am learning to rest. I find myself stretching for that pool side often, but pray that the Lord helps me let it go again. 

I feel like this is everything my blog posts have been about so far. It is my own journey in learning how to trust in the Lord.  Fully. Not just the, yes BUT kind of faith.  But the all in, unguarded hoping and praying for everything, believing in the outcome and His will kind of faith.  I don't have it yet.  I have found the Lord is gracious in comforting me and supplementing me when my faith has faltered. So now as I love my son from far away, I wait hopefully, expectantly,  lovingly, mostly faithfully and somewhat patiently for our first encounters.

Speaking in Hymns

The Lord seems to be speaking to me in hymns.  As I processed the news that we could be matched this week (even though it is a low probability), I got a little hyped up.  There are so many ways in which we are not ready.  The financial cost of the adoption process being the biggest on my mind.  And so, Monday night, I find myself full of energy with nowhere to really place it.  Finally, Michael and I prayed together, that the Lord's will be done, and that I be provided peace (the supernatural kind because I do not always come by it naturally).  And so, I awoke this morning singing in my head "It is well with my soul." I felt the calming presence of the Holy Spirit as I started my day.

As I sometimes do when I am in work meetings, I started writing a letter to Jesus.  And realized what the letter boiled down to, is that I am asking for a miracle.  A miracle that the Lord provide the finances and the timing for this adoption to take place.  For the miracle that Rosebud is ready for a brother when he comes, and for all the other specifics to fall into place.  I've asked for a lot of things from the Lord, but a miracle seems like a huge imposition.

A friend from work gave me a worship cd, and when I hopped into the car on my ride home tonight, "Great is thy Faithfulness" was playing.

All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided-

"Great is thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!

When I look at my life, this could not be anymore true.  The Lord blessed me with a little girl despite my infertility. He sustained us through unemployment.  He was faithful in helping me follow my calling despite my many attempts to stray from His path.  Great is His faithfulness.

So tonight, I rest in His love and MERCY, knowing that I have never deserved His miracles, but have always received them. I know he loves my son and my family and that through Him, all things work together for good... (Romans 8:28). A God who sent His son to die for me, provided a way for the miracle of salvation before I even knew I wanted it....surely that God is faithful and hears my prayers.

The Very Near Future

So I just read another blog from a Canadian couple.  They indicated the matching meeting is MAY 16TH!
That really is the very neat future.  If you are sure what I'm referencing, read "Forward Motion", then come back and read this post.

Forward motion

We have really been wondering about what has been going on in Lesotho.  We rarely bother our agency with asking, because they are good at keeping us informed, so we assume if we haven't had news, there is no news.  We had noted that a family was completing their adoption and were in Lesotho, but we had not heard anything about new matches being made.

UNTIL Last Friday... buh buh bummmmm.  Our agency's director emailed us to let us know that Lesotho was planning a matching meeting very soon (when adopting internationally, you become very used to things being vague. It cannot be helped).   What is a matching meeting you ask?  In my understanding, government and other professionals get together to discern orphans who are eligible to be placed for adoption.  The meetings are intended to be held every quarter, but that is sometimes challenging.  There are four countries that are approved to adopt in Lesotho.  Each country(and the one agency that represents them) is given the opportunity to present four families to be matched with a child during these meetings.  Many things are considered.  The needs of the child, the goodness of fit for the family, and so on.  Our director let us know that there are currently four families from the US that have been waiting quite a while to be matched. 

HERE IS THE PART THAT INVOLVES US: Because it has been such a long wait between matching meetings, our director has indicated that the government is considering to allow more families to be presented by each country/agency.  She emailed to tell us that she will be attempting to get us on the list of eligible families to be matched in the very near future.    There are so many variables.  1. Clearly, we are serving children. If there are no children to be served at this time, we will wait longer.  2. The government and other professionals have not fully committed to considering additional families. 3. Its international adoption, so just imagine all the other things, and pretend that I wrote them here.

We truly believe in the Lord's timing.  I know he has his hands in this, and I know that he loves our son, and is caring for him.  In a future post, I will share my personal reactions to this news.  To know me is to know that there were a lot.

PLEASE PRAY FOR THE FOLLOWING:

• For the children waiting for families
• For the other families waiting to find their children
• That doors are opened and that the Lord is able to move in a big way in this process
• For the financial barriers we face in this adoption
• Pray to bless our director, our agency, and the professionals that serve orphans everyday.  That they experience the Lord's blessing for following their calling and serving His children.

We are so excited to hear even this snippet of news.  For us, it is good to hear that there is forward motion.

P.S.  We've wrapped up our Both Hands project as a fundraiser.  I will post an update on that soon.

April 28th

Today was our Both Hands Project! We had so much fun working on Ms. Betty's home.  I look forward to posting pics/video for all to see.  But for tonight, we are going to relax, check for ticks, and just chill :)

Projects we worked on at Ms. Betty's are

• Lowering her closet rods to make them more accessible
• Helping organize/sort through closet items
• Sort through items in her home to keep, garage sale, or get rid of 
• Make three new shed doors
• Clean property of debris, wood, etc. so it could be more easily mowed.
• Break down tire pile so it could be taken by a local dump (who offered to take them for free!)
• Gather scrap metal and cart off for Monday
• Work on her garden, making it easier to manage
• Mow/Rake/Weedeat
• Freshen up some patio furniture
• Hang out with Betty and Oreo (her puppy)

It was a great success and everyone worked so hard!  Thanks to our Both Hands Project Team! You were so wonderful and worked harder than I could have imagined possible!

We are half way to our goal! We are excited to see the Lord work in this and will be sharing more with you.

Both Hands Project

Well, it is Facebook Official :)  Our Both Hands Foundation project is underway.   We are in love with idea of serving another while also raising money to bring our son home. We have been so blessed by those willing to partner with us in this project.Here is some information from our letter of support that explains a bit about the project:

What is  Both Hands?

Both Hands is a non-profit organization with a two-fold mission – serving widows in a very practical way in communities while raising funds to help willing families adopt. Both Hands partners with Lifesong for Orphans, whose mission is “bring joy and purpose to orphans.”

The Family:

 Our family has felt called to adopt since before we were even married.  We both have a heart for children and orphans, and  Tara has felt a specific call to Africa.   It was through research that we learned about the Kingdom of Lesotho, and the need of the children in this small country.  We have been married 5 years.  We  are blessed with a precious little girl, Larkin Rose, who celebrated her 2^nd birthday last November.  We feel  blessed that the Lord has chosen to use us to love another one of His precious children. To find out more about our adoption journey, you can check out our blog: http://www.abrotherforrosebud.blogspot.com/

The Widow:

Betty is a wonderful woman who loves the Lord.  She has had a tough six years.  Her husband passed away in 2006.  They shared 49.5 years together.  Betty suffered another loss when her son was diagnosed with cancer  and was taken by the illness only 30 days after the diagnosis.  Betty has also had her own health issues, which have made it difficult for her to  keep up with some necessary home maintenance.

The Orphan:

We will be adopting a son from Lesotho between the ages of 0-2.  They are currently waiting to be matched with our son, and then we will travel to Lesotho to complete the adoption.  We long to meet their son and wait in eager anticipation for the day when he will join his forever family.

To donate to our projects, or to find out more, visit http://bothhandsfoundation.org/michael-and-tara-glenn.aspx
As always, you can email me with questions, taramglenn@yahoo.com.

As for updates on the adoption, things are slow moving.  We have submitted our I 600a application, which is needed for the US gov't to allow us to adopt an orphan.  It is our understanding that our information/paperwork is all in the Kingdom of Lesotho, waiting for God's timing for the matching process to begin.

Prayer requests:

As we proceed, we are praying for donations for the project from local businesses to contribute to Betty's home. We are praying also that some of the financial burden of adoption be lessened.  We pray for the heart of our family and of our son, that are hearts grow ready to be with one another.  We pray for our son's life and family, that the Lord bring peace to the situation and that His grace and mercy be abundantly felt.  We pray for Mrs. Betty, that we are truly a blessing to her.  And, that the Lord's will be done.